


A theatre romance

by valentine192



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Theatre, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sweet, Theatre, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 20:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4072993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valentine192/pseuds/valentine192
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, we fall in love but we just can't say it. Also, we have to make choices sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A theatre romance

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, letter format because... it's gonna be a long story, and I wanted it to be a short one-shot because I've been writing the whole day and I just needed to get this out XD If there are any questions, just send me a comment or a message or something :) Love you! <3

Dear Thor,

I am just writing this because, well, I have to get it out although I’ll never give this letter to you.

Anyways, you probably have a lot of questions and I, too, have a lot of questions. Since the show is over, I guess we are just to wait. Or maybe, just maybe, we let destiny bring us to where we are meant to go?

Since the first time I met you, I was stricken. It’s like I cannot stop looking at you. I just cannot. There was this attraction. I felt like a bee drawn to sweet honey - oh gosh, did I just call you sweet honey? Well, maybe you do taste sweet. But… okay, I’ll stop with the dirty thoughts.

The first day I met you, there was already something. I was new to the theatre, and you have been with them for over a year already. Your friend, Volstagg, was rather friendly to me and you were just quiet. Although you did try to talk to me and I tried to talk to you, I was tongue tied.

The next time I met you, we were having our acting exercises. The director made us face each other and “stare into each other’s eyes.” It sounded romantic, but we ended up insulting each other. It was fun. You’re a good actor, and the attraction I had for you grew.

Then the schedules were starting to get messed up. Like, hell, messed up. Especially since we were doing two plays into one, you being the lead of one play and me being the lead of the other, we were made to go to the theatre at different times. I barely saw you. However, whenever we were together, I can’t help but look. Just what is this attraction I have towards you? I casually date, but, with you, it’s different. It’s very much different. It’s like I want to think of you seriously, but I have not had a serious lover in years.

To my dismay, sadly, the director made me her pet for months. So she dragged me to different plays and events. However, I stopped going with her (that’s another story for a different day). Then she told me that you were dating our fellow actor, and that you were his sugar baby. Now, I don’t want to be appalled because we’re in the art world, Thor. Crazy, exciting, lovable things happen to us. That’s to be expected, right? Actors sleep with directors, agents, etc. etc. However, I felt hurt. I don’t know why. i didn’t feel jealous because I barely knew you, but I did feel hurt. Just why? The attraction I have for you is too deep for even me to understand.

I, somehow, acquired free tickets to this show and I invited you and your “sugar daddy.” I tried so fucking hard to keep my distance from you. I even sat farthest from you, and I could feel my chest exploding because I want to be beside you. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss your lips. Maybe I also wanted to do the nasty in the toilet as the play went on. But your “sugar daddy” was there, and I don’t enjoy fights, Thor. So that’s why I avoided you, but your “sugar daddy” asked if we three wanted to hang out together, and we did. And you declared yourself single, and you “sugar daddy” confirmed to me that you are single. He even said that you weren’t over your first love, and that’s okay. I wasn’t over from my own “the one that got away.” I understand. And we clicked. We seemed to understand each other. It was something special, and I cursed the director in the head for telling me lies.

That night was special. I opened up to you, and your “sugar daddy” left us. However, your best friend came and we drank at a nearby bar. Sadly, I became drunk and your best friend started hitting on me. And I cursed the bro code. The two of you even brought me home, and I remember kissing the two of you goodnight. (don’t call me any names, now. I was drunk). When I woke up in the morning, I cursed my hangover. I still had my day job where I teach children, and I went to work with a fucking hangover fucking me in the head. And I panicked when I got home because I forgot that there were security cameras around my house. Since my family belonged in the political circle, they would kill me even if I was already a grown man. You don’t know how much I snuck around just to retrieve the fucking tapes.

A week or so after that, we had pictorials. You were out of it, just staring at the distance. But when you saw me, you kissed my cheek, and I felt like a giddy high school girl who was feeling butterflies all over because her crush looked at her. And I cursed myself, saying “Loki, you’re a grown man! Act like one!” but, with you, I feel everything but a grown man. With you, I felt as if I would be protected instead of being the one doing the protecting. I was tired of being the strong one, and your eyes always assured me that it was okay to be vulnerable. How I hate you for that.

I remember, when we were walking through the gardens behind the theatre, that you picked this fruit from the tree and gave it to me. Since I was a foreigner to your country, I did not know what it was, so you told me about it. I remember eating the fruit and wondering what to do with it, and you laughed. Then we connected. We both loved nature and wanted to preserve it, and I wondered where were you when people bullied me for loving the environment. I could have used a friend that time, a friend who connected with me, because even my own friends at school hated how much I wanted to recycle (bratty, self-centred private school brats).

After the pictorial, I got into another fight with the director, and something came to my eye. I was rushing because I had a show to do, and you blew into my eye to get whatever it was that was inside my eye. And, dear universe, why were you fucking with my mind? Your lips, Thor, were so close to mine, and I felt the world stop. Your hands were cupping my face, and you were so damn gentle I want to scream “fuck you” and “love you” at the same time. I already swore that love would never be part of my life anymore, then you fucking came.

The next days were confusing. Your best friend texted me once, and that was it. Then your “sugar daddy,” Tony, was insisting that we date, but I did not want your friend. I wanted you, Thor. Bloody fucking hell. I wanted you. Then, while Tony was driving the two of us to the gates of the theatre, Tony told me that you were dating this girl, Jane, and I smiled and teased you about it while my heart broke. Yet again, I questioned the universe why? Why, universe, why? Why, God, WHY?! And you insisted that it was nothing, that it was casual, and that it wasn’t serious. It was what it was, casual. It translated to me as fuck buddy. Then I wondered if you were straight, and you insisted that you were bi and that this girl was just, well… casual and nothing. Those were your words, Thor! Not mine! Still, my heart broke.

So, from the “sugar daddy” rumour to your best friend to this bitch…. I could never be with you, and I simply accepted it, but the world did not seem to want to let me rest.

A week before the show, we were together for three days straight just waiting at the bus stop. I lived just a half an hour walk from the theatre, and you lived 2 hours away via the bus. It was already nine at night, and you still stayed to talk to me. Then you told me that you were shy in love, that the other person has to make the first move. I cursed at you and called you a wimp because I was the same. I never make the first move, and we both seemed to start a little war: Who will give in? Fuck you. It won’t be either of us. You were scarred from your previous relationship, and so was I, and our defences were too strong. I was lost.

Then we had a new actor come in one week before the play! Like, I was baffled. That usually never happened, but the director seemed desperate, and I laughed my ass off. This new guy, Fandral, was a porn star, and I was totally excited to befriend him, and I did! And that was the start of the battle.

The three of us were together at the bus stop, and you were waving bye to one of our friends when I asked Fandral if he wanted to hang out. He said sure, and so I invited you. You said that you had to go back home to that house which was two hours away (4 hours if there’s traffic). So I frowned and pouted, but you stayed with us for another hour, and I just adored it.

This Fandral said that you’re a good singer, and you immediately told him that I was the singer of the theatre. And I blushed. See what you do to me? I’m a fucking grown ass man! I’ve travelled and lived in different countries, and I was even thrown out of one country! Yet you can do this to me. Why? Then you picked this flower from this bush and gave it to me. I asked what it was, and you just told me to smell it, which I did. Before I could react, Fandral took it and asked what it was. When he was smelling it, you frowned and said, “Nothing. That flower stinks.”

Soon, you had to leave, but you brought us to McDonalds first where we hanged out (I had an audition the next day so I couldn’t drink any alcohol).

Fandral and I clicked, but only as friends. And I told him that I liked someone, and he immediately screamed your name. Apparently, I was obvious. BUT he said that you were more obvious, Thor. From what Fandral saw, you were protective of me, you wanted to be part of my life, and much more. And you made certain moves which I was clueless to. I also told him of that time when you said that the other must make the first move, and he told me that you wanted me to make the first move. He even insisted that I text you that night, but I suddenly felt shy (I have been acting for years and you brought out my shy side which has… what… been dead for years already?) And Fandral said that we both looked at each other in a certain way, and I felt my heart flutter.

I came home at 3am that day, and I died because I was locked out of the house. Fucking hell.

The next day, Fandral didn’t go to rehearsal, and you were acting jealous of Fandral. (Score: Thor: 0; Loki: 1).

The following day, Fandral was back, and, instead of three, we were four at the bus stop. There was you, me, Fandral, and Clint. It was your younger brother’s birthday and it was 9pm again, so you had to leave. However, you stayed for two more hours just talking to us. Fandral was already teasing me with those inside jokes, and I kept looking down. And you said that you liked people with my skin, and you were smiling at me.

When you left, Fandral, Clint, and I, went to drink. It was then that I told Clint that I liked you, and Clint slammed his beer on the table and shouted, “I knew it!” Apparently, he has been feeling it from us for months already and he was waiting for anything to confirm his suspicions, but we were both doing nothing, just dancing around each other like giddy high school girls when we were both grown men. Oh, and Clint noticed that you were jealous of Fandral. I also told Clint that I was jealous of your girl, and Clint laughed. Here’s what he said:

“Jane is nothing to Thor! When we were at the bar for one of his gigs, he was sad because you didn’t go! He was really really sad that you didn’t go!” (I forgot that I had rehearsals! sorry!) “And Thor was not affectionate! He treated Jane like nothing. It was Jane being clingy to Thor. Don’t get me wrong, Loki, Jane’s a nice and pretty chic, but it was pretty one sided. Also, he sang a song that night. The message was that he didn’t know how to approach his love, and that he’ll just dream of his love and he’ll be satisfied with that. Also, when the host asked him to who the song was for, he said that it was for someone who never showed his real self. Jane had a sad look then. She knew that it wasn’t her.”

And I knew it was me. Thor, you’ve seen my paintings, and that’s what you always said. “This subject doesn’t want to show his real self,” to every single one of my paintings.

The next day, Clint told me that you were singing this song which was a confession of how you loved someone so dearly, but you were scared to confess. And that you sang that immediately after I left the room. You even played the piano.

That night, I was with Clint, and he told me that you almost ruined my dramatic scene. I was begging to the gods (in the play) and you were watching, slowly walking towards me with this certain look in your eyes. And you stopped at the edge of the stage. Here’s what Clint said:

“As a friend, I would have applauded and asked for more - if only he walked in the scene and did what I expected him to do. As your technical director, I would have thrown the script at him and yelled, ‘this is not Romeo and Juliet,’ you ass!”

That last week, I felt as if we were both racing for something we both were scared to win.

The day before the show, you walked in on me changing. I was already clothed, and you just made a joke before walking away. Clint gave me this malicious, smug smile and said, “If only I wasn’t behind him, he would have done something.” I pushed Clint out of the room and slammed the door at his face. Oh, how I wished that you did something, Thor.

Then show time. More signs. You were singing that song that Clint told me, and you were singing it to me. You even sang more love songs, and the whole time you knew that I had a weakness for men who played the piano - and you were playing the fucking piano! However, no confession came from you. So I asked you to accompany me here and there. We were alone, but you did nothing. And more stuff. You sat beside me and put your arm around my shoulders while Jane was in the same place (I don’t know if she saw us. She probably thought that it was just a friendly gesture).

Then we were in the same room together, just the two of us, and I would catch you watching me. Approaching me, only to walk away. The show was over, and there was no assurance when the next show date would be because there were problems with marketing, so I did not know if I were to meet you again. So I sulked while I fixed my things, then Clint barged into the room and said, “Thor, just confess already, damn it!”

I stared at my belongings, and Clint walked to you. I did not listen, but Clint called my name and said, “Did you hear that, Loki?” I asked what, and he said, “Say it again, Thor!”

“I love you,” was what you said, and you were looking at me with those vulnerable eyes.

I should have taken it, but I was too flabbergasted - also, I did not want Clint there. Seriously, I would have taken it, but my defences and fear of love kicked in that I pointed to Clint and said, “Is that for you?”

Thor, suddenly alarmed and looking as if his defences were raised, said, “yeah! It’s for you, Clint!”

Clint kicked the floor and shouted, “The fuck, Loki!”

Then there were more. Clint told me that you didn’t like how I planned to leave the country, and that you were staring at me. Then we drank, and you did not go because you were sick. However, you had to go to your friends who came to watch you. With them was Jane.

I got drunk that night, my heart hurting because you picked Jane over me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, Thor. I don’t know if the tour of our show is on. If it is, then we’ll meet again. If not, then, goodbye? You even invited me to help out with this movie that you’ll be working on, and I hope that you remember.

To wherever destiny brings us, whether or not we are meant to meet again, thank you for the memories you gave me.

-Loki

**Author's Note:**

> Don't kill me!


End file.
